How Does Your Garden Grow:

I have the paternal instinct of sand, and about as much desire to procreate as I do to harbour a colony of wasps in my sinus. I am, however, very fatherly towards my rapidly expanding collection of herbs here at Stepford Manor. That said, I'm also something of a deadbeat dad. Like, I'm all proud of my kids when they're growing and developing really well, but the second something starts to go wrong - I'm out of there.

Case in point - in the photo above you can see the verdant leaves of my two recently acquired black Helebore plants.

Reviving the Neglected:

As Spring is rapidly sprung across the land and Stepford barrels head-long into the season with domestic plants and sidewalk weeds alike bursting into flower, I am starting to take stock of my own garden which I have neglected over winter.

The truth of the matter is while I aspire to be a gardener, I have essentially a black-thumb, and I have almost a second side of me that is compelled to murder plants, usually through neglect.